Est-il normal que votre SO ne vous invite pas aux Happy Hours de l'entreprise ?

Happy hour is a time to relax with your favorite people and destress. They can create such a good time that people even make the hour a recurring event in the workplace. If your partner attends one every month or more frequently, you might wonder if you’ll ever get to go. Learn more about whether you should bring your significant other to a work event and how happy hour etiquette typically works in a professional setting.

Workplace Happy Hour Etiquette

Every workplace has a different perspective on happy hour events. Some teams like to go out after work, like meeting at a local brewery after dinner. Others schedule them for the last hour of the workday because 68% of people would rather socialize before heading domicile. Either way, the unspoken etiquette is generally the same:

• People can discuss interpersonal things, like how a new team member is adjusting to the workplace.
• There’s no brainstorming for projects that would otherwise get accomplished in a meeting.
• More personal conversations are welcome because no one needs to get any work done during happy hour.
• If everyone’s sharing drinks in the workplace, no one should get past the point of feeling slightly tipsy.

It’s easy to assume that company happy hours are parties, but they’re not the same thing. There’s still a professional vibe to maintain compared to gatherings where people can have a few drinks, share vulnerable conversations or get rowdy over a party game.

Should I Bring My SO to a Work Event?

Deciding whether you should bring your significant other (SO) to a work event is tricky. It depends on the situation. An after-hours holiday party meant to make employees feel appreciated is likely an event where partners are welcome. A happy hour that starts while everyone is on the clock is more of an event just for colleagues.

The invite to the party might also state if non-employees are welcome. Recurring company happy hours that happen while everyone’s on the clock might not have an invitation because it’s just for people who get the inter-office email. A bigger event after hours would likely have an invitation and clarify if people can invite their loved ones.

Situations When Not Getting Invited to Happy Hour Is Normal

You might wonder if you should bring your SO to a work event like a happy hour if they aren’t your co-worker but have some free time during the event. There are a few situations where you can comfortably say no, like:

• You’re on the clock and just want to bond with your co-workers.
• The happy hour has a specific theme that only employees who understand the inside joke or shared passion can fully appreciate.
• The company happy hour is virtual and you don’t work from home with your partner.
• You’re casually dating your partner and they don’t feel ready to introduce them to your co-workers.

You can always double-check the possibility of an invite from your boss. If they say your partner is welcome to attend, they’ll likely explain why. You can use that as the goalpost for deciding when your significant other can return for another happy hour.

Situations When It’s Not

Workplace happy hours aren’t always open to partners or other family members. If your SO won’t invite you to happy hours, these are a few situations when you have a right to feel concerned:

• You get a personal invitation and your partner says what you’re reading isn’t true, which is a form of gaslighting.
• Your partner, who normally shares everything with you, seems to hide information about company happy hours when you ask.
• Your significant other hosts the happy hour in your shared home and you’re never allowed to stay for it.
• Your partner’s co-workers are having a happy hour after a big meeting or conference to destress together.

Most of the time, happy hours in the workplace occur between 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Employees likely won’t invite their partners while they’re on the clock. You might also work a different job during that time, so your partner might understand that it would be difficult for you to attend without taking time off.

Things You Can Do to Resolve the Situation

Determining whether it’s normal for your SO to not invite you to company happy hours can feel tricky. You can take a few steps to clarify things and get to a better place.

Start an Open and Honest Conversation

Let your partner know you’re wondering why they never invite you to happy hour. The point is to have an open and honest conversation without judgment or emotional outbursts. Remember, experts note that 55% of communication happens through body language. Paying attention to body language and what your partner says should make it easier to determine if they’re hiding something or not.

If the conversation feels impossible to navigate, it could be a good sign that you’d both benefit from some couples counseling. A licensed therapist will help you both tackle the root of the problem beneath your happy hour disagreements, like lapses in communication that affect other areas of your life together.

Ask to Attend Sometime

Sometimes, vocalizing your needs is the only thing you need to do to clarify something. Let your partner know you’d like to go to their next happy hour. They might be able to invite you but don’t realize that you’d enjoy attending.

Host a Happy Hour Together

If your significant other’s workplace happy hours are always exclusively for employees, you can host a different one at your home. Invite your partner’s co-workers and their significant others. You don’t have to wait for your SO’s boss to create an opportunity to socialize together.

Need more motivation? People with chronic health conditions have a 50% chance of living longer if they have more social support. You’ll improve your long-term health and your partner’s by socializing together while hosting happy hours.

Work Through This Problem Together

It may be time to talk with your partner when your SO won’t invite you to happy hours. Communicating how you feel and clarifying if the event is open to loved ones will help you understand if an invitation is possible. You can always attend couples counseling if an underlying issue prevents healthy communication in your relation.